So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
