Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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