i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
