I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
