it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
