so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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