hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dicks are not precious.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
