Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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