if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
