you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
