I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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