if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
