Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
