Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
