Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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