this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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