I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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