Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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