3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize