yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
