I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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