one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize