id be glad to
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
