i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
