3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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