If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
