chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
