Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize