Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
