why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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