Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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