You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
