I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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