I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I could make wine with my vomit
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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