shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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