I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The ass gains better be worth it
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