The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
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guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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