We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
