I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
