walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize