I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
