piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
