I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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