His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize