I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
