i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
