His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
