i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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