There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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