we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
