He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
