If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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