His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
