Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
