It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
