Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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