forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
40s are totally the cure
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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