My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
