Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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