there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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