Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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