If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
