Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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