Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
