suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
