Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
