hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
