sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
