Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
